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My Evil Twin: Slowly picking me apart: Seriously... blog Layouts

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Saturday, September 30, 2006

Seriously...

Ok. It's another Saturday night. My friends are out partying and I don't feel like it ( as usual). I love my friends and I consider myself a party animal.. I AMMMM. SO what gives?
I know that I'm not a party pooper or a KJ and I know I can change the course of whatever party I go to ( easy bitches .. lol).

Maybe I'm just tired of knowing exactly what's going to happend and what doesn't really doesn't interest me. Maybe I feel that I'm too old for it or maybe I just need another venue, another kind of drink, another flow of conversation and some excitement for Pete's sakes!

Nothing excites me anymore .. ( Light bulb moment!) there that's my problem!!!!!!!!

Then again , Maybe excitement is a state of mind. I'd rather have coffee and a heart to heart conversation then slow my metabolism down with industrial waste ( NO Offense Guys.. I'm the EX- Tandya queen remember?) and a useless hangover in the morning.

Or maybe it's not my time. Going thru so much leaves little space for anything else.

Would I be the same in another place? Hell no! I'd be painting the town red anywhere else..

Familiarity does breed contempt.

Maybe.. I just catered so much to that party of me that there isn't really much to experience left.. not with my single cute and unscarred college and "feeling still in college friends" .. I belong to the latter category.

I have given value to my time.. and ironically its put more to use when I am not alone and pretending to be just-like-them.

When I am not.

Part of me is. even maybe 50% of me , but like i said , I'm feeding that part of me everyday.. no need for overkill or I might forget who I realy am.

fucking deep eh.. ? only deep to those who know me.

To them it's just like that too when they're with me.. they feed the part of them that is- not just -like- thje rest

the silent connection of understanding of what we need from eachother.


I still dopn't know whats up with me being corny about it.

should I even post this post? nahhh never mind

4 Comments:

Blogger -OT- said...

Ur just getting too old Granny :P

2:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

bwahahaha.. nice comment -ot-.. but i do understand what you mean girl.. i felt the same way too just before i left the place! lol

you know why i go out... hehe. too bad though i didn't realize that i wasted 4 fucking months... but then.. i had great times... and i was there for my friends too.. oh well. i'm back to reality again. :)

-insolent minx

10:39 AM  
Anonymous nadd said...

lol i'm curious, this is your amazing outlook on life, and you are half saudi..so what's the other half..pilipino? (banana association)

or maybe i should read thru the archives and see if there are any hints

3:42 PM  
Blogger IonFluxh said...

why dont you fuck yourself nadd?

8:54 AM  

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